You're Married, Charlie Brown!

Charlie Brown clutched his briefcase, smiling at Snoopy. "Hey, old pal. How was your day?"

A loud shriek came from inside. Charlie Brown's eyes widened with surprise. Dispirited, Charlie Brown mumbled, "I guess I'd better check on her." Snoopy offered a look of sympathy.

Charlie Brown walked in and glanced around the living room. "Hello?"

With a quiet fury burning in her eyes, Lucy emerged from the kitchen. "About time you got home, Charlie Brown. Where have you been?"

Charlie Brown answered sheepishly, "I came straight from work."

"Did you forget where we live, Charlie Brown? Boy, I bet you'd forget your brain if it wasn't trapped in your head." Lucy tried to be pleasant. "How was work?"

Charlie Brown frowned. "The boss picked on me again."

Lucy shook her head. "It's no wonder with you always wearing that stupid shirt. Sometimes I think you don't love me at all."

"What?"

"You should take pride in your appearance and stand up for yourself. That's the reason you never get a raise and are always stuck with the worst jobs. We need money, Charlie Brown. I want to buy things. You're such a blockhead."

"Lucy, why are you acting like this?"

"I'm pregnant, Charlie Brown." Then, after a long silence, "It's Pig-Pen's. Maybe Franklin's."

"Good grief."